Saturday 6 September 2014
Miracle
"I am waiting for a miracle. He stays across the ocean. A thousand miles away. Distance isn't the problem. I have no will to go on like this," she says, trying her best to keep a steady tone. Being fragile, she fails to convince me anyway. Her voice seemed like she could do with a glass of water. "I want to drown myself in a pool of fire and ruin my existence," on the brink of tears. I wanted to ask her to calm down, but nothing good has ever come up with my opening my mouth to talk. Reluctantly, I shut up and stare at her as if counselling her with my silence. Soon, she flinches, and glistens. This is where I thought she was doing to cry. "Silence was never a good countenance, NEVER!" I scream to myself, albeit silently. I witnessed her face drawing up a smile. (It is now that I realised that your mouth too is a window to the soul if you are willing to listen.) With her eyes transfixed above, I decided to see what she saw. The clouds loomed over our heads. She knew the rain gods are going to answer her prayers today. Maybe, I thought. Luckily, she wasn't me. Luckily for her, she waited for a miracle.
Picture taken from Katha Cues
Wednesday 2 July 2014
Joke
I may be 24 but I feel nothing more than a 14 year old. As a girlwho's in her 20's, I feel cheated. Or at some point in time, I expect God to tell me that I was being punk'd. Turns out this is reality and I've turned into a joke.
You see, the illusions in my head made me believe life in the 20s would be 'glamorous', if I could use that term. Dinner with friends after work, dancing, movie marathons, all this and more were to be a major part of my 20s. (It's funny how dates never were a part of this deal.) Circa 2014, friends, I have are not more than my fingers. Dancing? You mad bro. Two left feet and left hands, that's me now. Love? I figured there's no convention where I'd meet my man and he'd realise in that very moment that we were soulmates. Turns out I was wrong.
I think I have a theory about life turning out to be this disappointing. I've realized that none of us have changed. Maybe 20 percent here and there. But that's about it. I believe we still are kids who still dream about a better future. Dreaming, just dreaming. Never, hardly working towards it. Though, we still carry stars in our eyes. The light may have got dull, dim, but that's what's taking us forward. Or dreams.
Perhaps why I don't want to face reality ever again.
You see, the illusions in my head made me believe life in the 20s would be 'glamorous', if I could use that term. Dinner with friends after work, dancing, movie marathons, all this and more were to be a major part of my 20s. (It's funny how dates never were a part of this deal.) Circa 2014, friends, I have are not more than my fingers. Dancing? You mad bro. Two left feet and left hands, that's me now. Love? I figured there's no convention where I'd meet my man and he'd realise in that very moment that we were soulmates. Turns out I was wrong.
I think I have a theory about life turning out to be this disappointing. I've realized that none of us have changed. Maybe 20 percent here and there. But that's about it. I believe we still are kids who still dream about a better future. Dreaming, just dreaming. Never, hardly working towards it. Though, we still carry stars in our eyes. The light may have got dull, dim, but that's what's taking us forward. Or dreams.
Perhaps why I don't want to face reality ever again.
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