Why I hate KJo's movies

As much as I love Karan Johar for his wit and sense of humour, I DISLIKE him for the stereotypical plots in modern day cinema.

He might be hailed as the modern day raconteur. And after having a not so pleasant discussion about KJo with one of my mates; I am coming out with my own rendition of why I hate K Jo movies.

*Drunk Dancing*

What does Dostana, Kal Ho Naa Ho, I Hate Luv Story’s have in common??? (Going by the promos of this pic. ) The girls have the audacity to dance like this only when they are drunk!!! ONLY when drunk!! Either Karan Johar believes that pretty pixies can dance like orangutans only when drunk. Or women high on morals don’t drink. Or Mind u!! His movies r family entertainers’. What other excuse can he serve??? They definitely don’t want Indian parents to think that their own daughter can drink; fag or smoke weed.

*Death*

As long as the oldest trick in the book is used; KJo’s movies will always continue winning awards. Be it Kal Ho Na Ho where SRK's character Aman was deceased or Kuch Kuch Hota Hai where the pudgy Rani was bereaved. Just kill them or let them be losers. Another nuance is Hrithik Roshan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Or SRK (Rahul) (again!) in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna.

*Punjabis*

All these movies will mandatorily have a Punjabi mom who has to be rambunctious. A 'Thick Like Punjabi Lassie' Mom is even better when it comes to weight, girth and accent. Do we really need hackneyed Moms?? I think we were talking about KJo representing modern cinema. Take a look- Kirron Kher in Dostana, Kajol in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Kirron Kher again in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.

*Lady Luck*

No matter how uneducated the character; serendipity will always get to them. Always.

*Love Stories*

Boy meets Girl. Girl meets Boy.

Boy hates Girl. Girl hates Boy.

But they will fall in love.

With each other’s differences.

It is these KJo's movies which makes us a baboon of ourselves His movies make us mushy. When we all know that relationships are definitely not about romantic slow songs; red roses; prom nights and reveries.

And Oh! God forbid, if we have any one cheating on us. They are ready with an excuse. “I love you, but unfortunately you are not my soul-mate. It is He/she” And they fade into the background. Just like that. And about you,you will be pining about her for quite some time.

*Love triangles*

· Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.

· Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

· Dostana

· I Hate Luv Story’s

· Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham

· Kal Ho Naa Ho

I think the point is well conceived here.

Moving on to I Hate Luv Story’s . Sonam looks like she was fed on a diet of steroids since her childhood. Her kiddish tweeny voice, sadly didn't have any effect of the steroids.

Personally , I was turned off when I saw a scene “inspired” from the movie “27 dresses”. Not that I was quite impressed by 27 dresses either.

Just take a look at this video.

& read this from 27 Dresses

Jane: How refreshing! A man who doesn't believe in marriage.

Kevin: I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.

Jane: Oh! That's so noble of you. Do you also go around telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 'Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open.

Kevin: A-ha! So you admit that believe in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus!

Teenyboppers are definitely going to love it. And I don’t see myself as one. Clearly.Yes, after a series of playing hotch-scotch with the plot-lines, even dialogues are an epiphany from the inspired rom-coms.

This is why I hate KJo.

P.S :- if anyone hasn't noticed by now, i haven't taken a jibe at Wake Up Sid. Which is primarily because the movie was realistic and made sense. and definitely struck a chord with everyone. It is only when he uses the "winning" formula and mish-mashes the story using a pair of dice. Throw the clichés and his movies will surely click..!!

The Axe effect- now with a twist..

Anti-rape condom ready for SA World Cup

Apart from letting the gossip mongers find an outlet to yap about. Facebook is helping me be a know-it-all in ways more than 1. Just yesterday 2 of the communities came up with a Write up on a female condom called Rape-Axe..!!


The condom is used to avoid the age old medieval lore which should have been scorned by now. Only this time it will leave d rapist writhing in pain. Something which can be worn as easily as a tampon is nothing to complain about and it has spiked in the inside of the
condom . the condom works its magic only during penetration. Once clung to the penis
it can be only removed by a doctor. Fangs prove to be loyal again..!!


Amen to that..!!


A lot of skeptics are hollering about leaking the news to the media. Which will make the rapists army combat forces unite and create something...??!! yes right.. Unless rapists
Definitely don’t roam around with X-ray eyes..!! anything could b e possible . Secondly
thou it is receiving a lot of flake about putting women through a lot of stress and the fragility
women are constantly have to deal with .


Well isn’t it always better safe to be " safe" than sorry.


The only concern here would be gang rape. where in 1 man is hurt they might resort to
much spiteful things. the fangs might not be able to deal with a couple of dicks. and may
attack the woman more than what was intended to. But after weighing the cons . we should still give Rape-axe a mighty go ahead. it can surely curb rape.


What’s more? Dr Sonnet Ehlers the inventor of rape axe said she visited prisons and talked to convicted rapists to investigate if such a device would have made them contemplate their deeds. thy replied in the positive.


Back home lets us look at the statistics in India. A woman gets raped every half an hour in India. The latest report of the Delhi-based National Crime Records Bureau shows India’s shameful record when it comes to rape.


In 2007, there were 20,737 reported cases of rape. This works out to a staggering 2.37 rapes every hour. As you read this write up, an innocent girl, woman or child is likely
being raped in India and languishing - given the social stigma.


To which i can conclude only this.
an axe for a the dick may set things right.


Rapists will now have to pay- with a rape scar..!!!