Why I hate KJo's movies

As much as I love Karan Johar for his wit and sense of humour, I DISLIKE him for the stereotypical plots in modern day cinema.

He might be hailed as the modern day raconteur. And after having a not so pleasant discussion about KJo with one of my mates; I am coming out with my own rendition of why I hate K Jo movies.

*Drunk Dancing*

What does Dostana, Kal Ho Naa Ho, I Hate Luv Story’s have in common??? (Going by the promos of this pic. ) The girls have the audacity to dance like this only when they are drunk!!! ONLY when drunk!! Either Karan Johar believes that pretty pixies can dance like orangutans only when drunk. Or women high on morals don’t drink. Or Mind u!! His movies r family entertainers’. What other excuse can he serve??? They definitely don’t want Indian parents to think that their own daughter can drink; fag or smoke weed.

*Death*

As long as the oldest trick in the book is used; KJo’s movies will always continue winning awards. Be it Kal Ho Na Ho where SRK's character Aman was deceased or Kuch Kuch Hota Hai where the pudgy Rani was bereaved. Just kill them or let them be losers. Another nuance is Hrithik Roshan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Or SRK (Rahul) (again!) in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna.

*Punjabis*

All these movies will mandatorily have a Punjabi mom who has to be rambunctious. A 'Thick Like Punjabi Lassie' Mom is even better when it comes to weight, girth and accent. Do we really need hackneyed Moms?? I think we were talking about KJo representing modern cinema. Take a look- Kirron Kher in Dostana, Kajol in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Kirron Kher again in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.

*Lady Luck*

No matter how uneducated the character; serendipity will always get to them. Always.

*Love Stories*

Boy meets Girl. Girl meets Boy.

Boy hates Girl. Girl hates Boy.

But they will fall in love.

With each other’s differences.

It is these KJo's movies which makes us a baboon of ourselves His movies make us mushy. When we all know that relationships are definitely not about romantic slow songs; red roses; prom nights and reveries.

And Oh! God forbid, if we have any one cheating on us. They are ready with an excuse. “I love you, but unfortunately you are not my soul-mate. It is He/she” And they fade into the background. Just like that. And about you,you will be pining about her for quite some time.

*Love triangles*

· Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.

· Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

· Dostana

· I Hate Luv Story’s

· Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham

· Kal Ho Naa Ho

I think the point is well conceived here.

Moving on to I Hate Luv Story’s . Sonam looks like she was fed on a diet of steroids since her childhood. Her kiddish tweeny voice, sadly didn't have any effect of the steroids.

Personally , I was turned off when I saw a scene “inspired” from the movie “27 dresses”. Not that I was quite impressed by 27 dresses either.

Just take a look at this video.

& read this from 27 Dresses

Jane: How refreshing! A man who doesn't believe in marriage.

Kevin: I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.

Jane: Oh! That's so noble of you. Do you also go around telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 'Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open.

Kevin: A-ha! So you admit that believe in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus!

Teenyboppers are definitely going to love it. And I don’t see myself as one. Clearly.Yes, after a series of playing hotch-scotch with the plot-lines, even dialogues are an epiphany from the inspired rom-coms.

This is why I hate KJo.

P.S :- if anyone hasn't noticed by now, i haven't taken a jibe at Wake Up Sid. Which is primarily because the movie was realistic and made sense. and definitely struck a chord with everyone. It is only when he uses the "winning" formula and mish-mashes the story using a pair of dice. Throw the clichés and his movies will surely click..!!

The Axe effect- now with a twist..

Anti-rape condom ready for SA World Cup

Apart from letting the gossip mongers find an outlet to yap about. Facebook is helping me be a know-it-all in ways more than 1. Just yesterday 2 of the communities came up with a Write up on a female condom called Rape-Axe..!!


The condom is used to avoid the age old medieval lore which should have been scorned by now. Only this time it will leave d rapist writhing in pain. Something which can be worn as easily as a tampon is nothing to complain about and it has spiked in the inside of the
condom . the condom works its magic only during penetration. Once clung to the penis
it can be only removed by a doctor. Fangs prove to be loyal again..!!


Amen to that..!!


A lot of skeptics are hollering about leaking the news to the media. Which will make the rapists army combat forces unite and create something...??!! yes right.. Unless rapists
Definitely don’t roam around with X-ray eyes..!! anything could b e possible . Secondly
thou it is receiving a lot of flake about putting women through a lot of stress and the fragility
women are constantly have to deal with .


Well isn’t it always better safe to be " safe" than sorry.


The only concern here would be gang rape. where in 1 man is hurt they might resort to
much spiteful things. the fangs might not be able to deal with a couple of dicks. and may
attack the woman more than what was intended to. But after weighing the cons . we should still give Rape-axe a mighty go ahead. it can surely curb rape.


What’s more? Dr Sonnet Ehlers the inventor of rape axe said she visited prisons and talked to convicted rapists to investigate if such a device would have made them contemplate their deeds. thy replied in the positive.


Back home lets us look at the statistics in India. A woman gets raped every half an hour in India. The latest report of the Delhi-based National Crime Records Bureau shows India’s shameful record when it comes to rape.


In 2007, there were 20,737 reported cases of rape. This works out to a staggering 2.37 rapes every hour. As you read this write up, an innocent girl, woman or child is likely
being raped in India and languishing - given the social stigma.


To which i can conclude only this.
an axe for a the dick may set things right.


Rapists will now have to pay- with a rape scar..!!!

“U girls ask us guys to stare at u"

"Damn these bucolic Biharis, I agree with Raj Thackeray with this. They are the ones who always eve-tease" Kevin said insouciantly.

“I liked the feed on the I-Dare-You blog...you should read it he said during our usual natter on Gtalk.

A cynic that I am just claimed that there is no point....no ones at an advantage other than the guys writing these posts. People like me are going gaga over the authorship. (And for once...people were actually talking about eve-teasing. Yes all thanks to Ur Blog...It has generated a hype and v r talking about it..!! )

As we progressed with our talks I still maintained that this " I - Dare - You " initiative is not going to work unless people on the street are educated...that a Herculean task...n dat where d grisly action takes place..

“No”, that the problem with u girls. Always stereotyping us.. There are a few good men like me who are still left". Sending out emoticons which made me want to believe him.

"Heck all are the same...See a girl with a pair of long legs n you think of getting into her pants...And after all you believe in love (read :lust) at first sight. When you walk around in a skirt or even in a pair of shorts you will find men giving u such nasty stares that it pierces hard And not to forget the words like ",Maal", "Item", "Guladda" (ewwwww....I know..! ) and all that crass (read :cuss).

“You all will want to roam around in the tiniest skirts also n than u al want all stares also.. that’s so dumb...I mean...just grow up yaar...what kinda argument is this...cover up urself and then see na.. then u know which are good and which are bad !!! “I felt like me was almost screaming down my throat .

I duuno what to make an issue about...: the length of the skirt or the breadth of the void in his hollow skull up there . This incitive was enough to get me into a feral rage.

“What??????????????????????????????????????” I was appalled by what this dumb-fucked-up-pervert-Kevin just said.

“If you want to wear short skirts ore when roam naked. Do it in your house; not on the road." ranting up almost immediately.

"You’re such a sick pervert Kevin. I dint expect this from u. I thought u were one of the guys who actually made sense” Damn.. I wanted to slap him hard.

“So are you trying to impregnate my mind by saying " Kevin stares at girls; checks them our; lusts for them but no...He is not a pervert. Conviction cud’nt get better than this..!! Damn these male species . . . one more reason to loathe them. What had gotten into him?? Was he feigning this??? I continued my hollering "What's the difference between so called ' I support ' I-Dare-You - initiators ' or those rustic Biharis or the cycle-walas or the rickshaw-wala for that matter?? ?? " I cud’nt blame my poor friend actually...Maybe dats how all men are...After all suck kidaas are there in all male-species.

" You girls are barmy... You so well know how to exaggerate things n take it to the next level..dont you??" acting like d heavens up above prophesied him to speak something wise.

“Kevin ...for Ur enlightment....do u know I am supposed t be free in this city for all d fucking reasons?? Whether I wear a sari ...or a bikini. .and according to sum national survey in India. Most Women are raped in villages than in the cities..n they wear saris der,,So now r u trying to tem me dat maybe these women lure men into raping them ??" It was now my chance to thank the heavens up above that fact dat I Read dat article..!!

To which he gave me a mind-blowing ‘Rongthe -kadhe -honewali jawab.’ "I stare with in my limits!!! Now I know y u all girls think V r perverts... Coz u girls lack gumption...you all will roam half naked and want no one to c u all like that. Now that’s quite a task...keep waiting for that day to come..!! "

Well. That when I decided to take e litmus test ... Will I really have to wait that long a time?? To witness that a " well-educated - guy" is not going to ogle at me??

Until then I guess we girls will have to just continue creating a scene if anybody misdemeans our body. our dignity...our ego. Our self respect...

kevin is a fictious character...but ds incident sure did happen..!! kust goesn on to show wot men think...!!

Cheers..!!!

. . . . .

People are going to persuade you to shut up. . . .Do urself a favour. . . speak wot's on ur mind. . .

In adversaries this is how ur going to be feeling. . .wings being clipped and u isolated in a cage. . .just be determined enough to break the shackles. .

Let dose labels die . . .and for once live your life..!!

keep your friends closer. . . your enimies closer and Yourslef Closest.. .

All the pain & sorrow , From yesterday ‘til tomorrow, Hoping it would all be over, Even though it seems forever

Gender Bender

There’s a lot of smoke because of this fire. Yesterday as reported on the front page of Mumbai Mirror, a police- man told a woman to stop smoking because she was a woman..!! How bizarre is that?? How much sense does that make?? Is that even an issue to be a faff about??

And when dis police man was probed further he stoically answered saying he doesn’t know wot to answer to his girl child when she sees woman smoking... And this will have a bad impression on her minds!!! Dis is the height of all d crap I have heard in a very long time.

Yes right, like that woman will act like a "smoking hot" seductive temptress and lure them in trying them to smoking..! Like Smoking is a very macho thing for man to do..!! Like smoking burns only a woman's lungs..!..!! Like it makes only a woman effete..!! Like only men r tired, anxious and nervous so this gives them a reason to fag..!! Like it doesn’t let out steam in women.

Y couldn't she be fined for the fact dat she was smoking in public? But no. our public servant has a problem dat she was a woman who was smoking..!!

In a list of hypocritical views we have in our society. We need to burn this 1 onto ashes into soon..!!

Proud to be gay

The headline says it all. The should have already been done to death section 377 IPC is out of the books; wiped from history. And History is rewritten again.

This is a proud day for the Queers, For India, indeed. . At least the HC has taken up matters in its hands ...even though it took them 8 years. The media did something good for a change. The moot can now will be laid to rest.

I remember dis incident. a few months back I was standing at a bus stop with a couple of my friends outside my college. I was in my wont nattering away as usual.

And there were a bunch of "well mannered" guys [by this i mean not the road side Romeo types] sitting around.

A gay was on his way when suddenly this group of guys started screaming "GAY!! GAY!! GAY!!!" "Bloody eunuch" "feminine man" "become a Mann!!!” and more abuses that I could understand. :(

Now it’s my turn to call them cheap, rowdy, callow, hallow lame, stuck up scoundrels.

We were astonished to see the "Adam - teasing”. . Just because he was gay.

And all i did was keep quite towards the entire situation. [I hate that my alter egoistic aggressive drama queen dint react..!! maybe I was to numb..!! ] This guy has d guts to give it back to them . . .he roared back " I am what I am " . . No but not an inch of shame these guys had. He just walked away caring 2 flying hoots about wot happened. Wooohoooo..!!

Beneath it all I knew he was all breaking up. After all he was a 1 man army there..!! It was all seen on his face. .He was being ostracized by this parochial society just because he gay.

Today when I see the law being burnt into ashes. I feel happy for him and his brethren, men and woman alike...!! Now is the time of their life!! Now they get accepted by the society; Now hopefully they wont be ridiculed for their preference whether they r LGBT 's . Hopefully many will come outta the closet like this 1. .. .

Now they can scream loudly...“I Love u..Man...!!! "

Live and Let live..!!

Peace..!!

They will Miss u Michael

Michael Jackson is dead..!! And it cud’nt get bigger than dis for the media..!1 dis was the kind of news they were just expecting... . And add to it d death of Farah Fawcett. . . dis is like a prayer from every leech (the media). It all started whenTMZ.com reported it and d news spread like fire. In fact d fact that internet traffic increased even made it to d news.!

And with vh1.. And channel [V] paying respects to him....It's no turning back from this dead and gone [pun intended] POP star.

Anyways not drifting from the topic... dis is wot i have to say on this constant blabber which is filthy and sickening to say the least.

Flashback to a few years back. do u remember MJ in the news for any good reasons?

In 1993, the allegations of the pop star abusing 13-year-old Jordy Chandler at Neverland were brought forward but i was obviously put under wraps and he was freely acquitted.

He was rumored to undergo plastic surgery couple of times because he was uncomfortable with his skin colour...Obviously he gave some lame excuse that he had some rare skin disease

In 2002 he dangled his third child, Prince Michael II - who he had via a surrogate mother - from a third-floor hotel balcony in Berlin. Was that humane enough of him..?? U knwo the answer...

In 2005, he found himself burning his fingers with the law again with allegations of abusing a boy named Gavin Arvizo. His downfall came when reports of genital blotches - were photographed of his private parts. The scandals effectively destroyed the pop legend even though he was found not guilty on 10 counts of child molestation.

During theses years. . The media and d audience criticized him for these antics. even called him lunatic. . So now wotever happened??

Well. Again all thanks to the media who r glorifying him as a hero when actually he was a Monster from hell.

With his 2001 release called Invincible he was written of by critics who said he shud retire and count to live off wid his millions he made in d past.

So now dis sudden switch of thoughts from the media?

I agree..... i m not going to take away the good music dat he gave tot he world. be it the albumThriller, Bad, Dangerous. How can i forget the black and white..?? Which was a suitable answer 2 the racists.

So while the world cries for Michael Jackson and remembers him for the music . . . I am still going to think of him a perpetrator, a man who was uncomfortable with his skin color, who was attention seeking and who needed to retire from the music scene since 2201.

RIP . . .Michael Jackson. . . at least now U wont create music crappy music it found it turdy sometimes. . .. the grapevine will miss u. . .actually the hungry for news media. . . While I personally will learn that v [the rich and poor...the nice and nasty . . . the good and the bad. the angels and the devils] we all go into dust. Never 2 return back again...