'Brand'ishing the Turds

Presenting some Shiity news hitting the tabloids about the 'Pari' Katy Perry and Sex ka Addict -' Russel Brand.'.

Since the papers lack to create gumption - let me break down some of the basic news 2 the people reading it :)

Apparently, Kate and Russell "have become devout worshippers of Lord Ganesha" just like how the couples are fans of substance abuse. (no offence to the deity. )

Just like how Heidi Klum and Seal got re-married in a Hindi Wedding ceremony, and while the rituals were being performed by a sundry pandit.. Hiedi had tears in her eyes as she understood the reasons why a hindu woman leaves her 'sabkuch and becomes parayi' to her parents.

Anybody find it funny, eh?

Just like how, soon enough. Heidi was dressed as Maa Kali for  Halloween party at her place, ( not surprisingly, she bagged the award for the best costume of the night !)

Just like Julia Roberts got converted to Hinduism after shooting in India for ehr 'sleepy' movie 'Eat.Pray,Love'

Digressing from the point to the point of focus, Russell Brand gifted Katy Perry a tigress as a sign of remembrance and un-ending love . why? For reasons the tigress in question alone knows. and oh. So that the so called activists in question do not get their share of lime-light.  the tigress claimed she will be left back in India while he would provide some the dollars for her welfare. the tigress resents that she dint get a chance to share a bed or a bathtub with Katy . Katy who has previously shared her bed with a girl, Travie McCoy, Russel Brand to name a few.

Save the straying look after the wedding Katy. 

Has your love for Katy too gone out of the window as soon as you left India ???? Eh, Russel ??

And in the meanwhile, Rihanna who was supposed to be her so called bridsmaid could make it for the wedding because of her professional commitments.

'All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players'


Couldn't sum it any better. 

Caught in the Act

"Wayne Rooney caught cheating on Coleen McLoughlin ” read a daily newspaper.  As I flipped through the pages of a newspaper last week.

Pic for representational purpose only

"Wait..Who was it again ? Tiger Woods ? Wayne Rooney ?? Wasn’t he married very recently?  Wasn’t his wife preggers even more lately??? wasn't the press abuzz with  sum1 who cheated v recently??? From d sport fraternity??? " my mind rambled on.. 

A quick recall gave them quite a long list of love rats.. Phew..!!! 

Tiger Woods- Tiger Wood’s downhill started  by November 2009 when he was caught cheating with a certain   Rachel Uchitel, an executive at an exclusive nightclub.. All in the name of party planner . only later did we know what  "Tiger Woods' wife rescued him from car crash by smashing window with golf club” meant...  Way 2 go Elin!! Hope this relieved her pain for just some moments !

 

Ashley Cole - The next  one in line who would love to turn in2 ashes after being caught with a woman would be this guy. Has he taken a good look at his now ex wife Cheryl tweedy? He cheated on Cheryl with a string of women. probably more than what he could count.. just a case of the swan marryind the proverbial duckling marrying the beast. only in this case, the duckling couldn’t  keep his feathers to himself.

 

Reggie Bush- The new Orleans saints player was in my memory famous only for dating kim Kardashian. But with a woman like Kim in hand; why would anybody look in any other bush?? Huh???

 

David Beckham- Rebecca Loos should thanks David Beckam for giving her 15 seconds for of fame. In other words,  a “new life “ for her. Rebecca loos den signed on a couple of reality show which among them was ‘Survivor.’ And “The Farm” in which she was seen masturbating a pig. Eeeekkks got a new definition on levels of crudeness.

 

WhY only football..??

In the country that is obsessive s with cricket;  cricketers too know how to play with  balls off the court n how..!!!

Take for instance.. media's wild child , Shane Warne.

In 2007, Shane Warne, who had a second chance with his wife reportedly, screwed it up for good but accidentally sending her a text message meant fro another woman.  This is called the incapability to learn from past mistakes.. no??

 

Apart from these are Mohammed Azharudin and his ‘Jwala’  surely sparked some talks about him,  if not 4 his career lows. And match fixing scuttlebutt. And how do we get our tiger dada--  Desh-ki-dhadkan—Sourav Ganguly and his jig with Nagma  ???

 

Which leads me 2 a few questions.. Is it so difficult 4 famous men to stay monogamous?

Or is it just men??? Or is it just power that comes in2 “foreplay” here??? Long distance relationships??. Whatever it is , they make marriage sound nothing more than a display of wealth . if not a chance 2 , officially get their pants unzipped.

 

And to name a few, Ronan Keating, Brad Pit.. and our very own Hritik Roshan, Akshay Kumar..  (did I say at the beginning that he list is long?? )

 

Apparently “About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage "Monogamy Myth", Therapist Peggy Vaugn”

Is this a foretelling sign for us women 2 openly indulge in orgies now????

 

I hope not..!!!

 

 

“Treat the girl right ,

 Or u will bite d dust!

With a pole tied to him. Tight..!!

And castrate his tongs of lust.”

 

Amen to that..!!