Breakdown

What is love? "[I] Just want someone to reverse the order of words you just uttered." I'm inadequate and I am going to let the madman in me take control. "*waltz*" They, say it is defined as "Two parts hydrogen plus one part oxygen". Definite and yet infinite. I find myself combust into these little speckles of dust — finer, defined, homeless — quite possibly created by a storm itself. "We are neighbours!" Wait, it is called implosion? "Ask." Is it when you put yourself first or when you put his/her needs before yours? Can you love yourself more than your partner? "Shaadi ke baad aa jana. Ab mat aa." It's crazy how we seem like those vases who pretend to be fine because, well, it's in our nature. "Talk to the walls, J. It's the same." Formed out of clay, it's not like we have much of an option. "I will, meri jaan. I will." Is it when you get a good sleep at night? "I don't use pillows nor wear a watch." Is it when you are all alone and yet feel closest to this person who is miles away? "#DumbQuestions." What is the textbook definition of love? If you are still wondering, the answer is no. Google says it is "a strong feeling of affection". Strong feeling of affection? Pfft! You and I both know (that) it is more than affection. "I'm tired of sitting on my hands." It is raging, seething, calming, tingling, deluding and smouldering. "What?" Lady Luna(cy) gets into me and makes me speak in a language I don't understand. "Violin is out of my league. My shoulder can't handle it." I'm waiting for you to express shock at the words I don't utter. "That'd be a temporary side-effect." they say love doesn't lie but you are too busy living a lie; and love doesn't judge. I think love flies out of thin air, out of books, pieces of amateur poetry to convey the message. Lady Luna has chosen me to be one among her messengers."Are you in love with me? Try to be honest. It won't hurt. Promise." Love won't leave you with a scar, a hickey, maybe. What is love, again? "Hahahaha.... J, how does it feel banging your head against the wall?"

Update: This is not love.

Also, please do not take any of this seriously.

Raspberries and Rainbows

Some days you delude yourself. Some days, you'd fight tooth and nail, and strike hard to seek it. Black, white and grey; after dedicating much more than colours; and after living under a cloud, you choose to finally give in.

You discover it in the lyrics your sentiments decide to play. You look it in the touch of your mother’s hand loving reassuring your nerves. You hear it in the alternate rhythm of the black and white keys. You seek it in the eyes of the child. You find it in the unspoken words of your lover. You unearth it in the cryptic clues of a poem. You stumble upon it between the lines. You string it together when you try connecting the dots. You search for it when you decide to face the mirror to face yourself. You will discover it in the words of a friend who never exactly owed it to you anyway. To contemplate, retrospect and elaborate upon those thoughts.

The truth lashes out in its form like the hard rain. But you rather stray away into the wild today. You rather cleanse yourself in the moonlight tonight. The truth isn't what you were searching for tonight. You crave for solace. The humble solace. Probably.

The truth seeks you in its glory. But you were never the brave heart who was out to seek the truth.

Probably the truth is the price you have to pay.