As much as I love Karan Johar for his wit and sense of humour, I DISLIKE him for the stereotypical plots in modern day cinema.
He might be hailed as the modern day raconteur. And after having a not so pleasant discussion about KJo with one of my mates; I am coming out with my own rendition of why I hate K Jo movies.
*Drunk Dancing*
What does Dostana, Kal Ho Naa Ho, I Hate Luv Story’s have in common??? (Going by the promos of this pic. ) The girls have the audacity to dance like this only when they are drunk!!! ONLY when drunk!! Either Karan Johar believes that pretty pixies can dance like orangutans only when drunk. Or women high on morals don’t drink. Or Mind u!! His movies r family entertainers’. What other excuse can he serve??? They definitely don’t want Indian parents to think that their own daughter can drink; fag or smoke weed.
*Death*
As long as the oldest trick in the book is used; KJo’s movies will always continue winning awards. Be it Kal Ho Na Ho where SRK's character Aman was deceased or Kuch Kuch Hota Hai where the pudgy Rani was bereaved. Just kill them or let them be losers. Another nuance is Hrithik Roshan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Or SRK (Rahul) (again!) in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna.
*Punjabis*
All these movies will mandatorily have a Punjabi mom who has to be rambunctious. A 'Thick Like Punjabi Lassie' Mom is even better when it comes to weight, girth and accent. Do we really need hackneyed Moms?? I think we were talking about KJo representing modern cinema. Take a look- Kirron Kher in Dostana, Kajol in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Kirron Kher again in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.
*Lady Luck*
No matter how uneducated the character; serendipity will always get to them. Always.
*Love Stories*
Boy meets Girl. Girl meets Boy.
Boy hates Girl. Girl hates Boy.
But they will fall in love.
With each other’s differences.
It is these KJo's movies which makes us a baboon of ourselves His movies make us mushy. When we all know that relationships are definitely not about romantic slow songs; red roses; prom nights and reveries.
And Oh! God forbid, if we have any one cheating on us. They are ready with an excuse. “I love you, but unfortunately you are not my soul-mate. It is He/she” And they fade into the background. Just like that. And about you,you will be pining about her for quite some time.
*Love triangles*
· Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
· Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
· Dostana
· I Hate Luv Story’s
· Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham
· Kal Ho Naa Ho
I think the point is well conceived here.
Moving on to I Hate Luv Story’s . Sonam looks like she was fed on a diet of steroids since her childhood. Her kiddish tweeny voice, sadly didn't have any effect of the steroids.
Personally , I was turned off when I saw a scene “inspired” from the movie “27 dresses”. Not that I was quite impressed by 27 dresses either.
Just take a look at this video.
& read this from 27 Dresses
Jane: Oh! That's so noble of you. Do you also go around telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 'Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open.
Teenyboppers are definitely going to love it. And I don’t see myself as one. Clearly.Yes, after a series of playing hotch-scotch with the plot-lines, even dialogues are an epiphany from the inspired rom-coms.
This is why I hate KJo.
P.S :- if anyone hasn't noticed by now, i haven't taken a jibe at Wake Up Sid. Which is primarily because the movie was realistic and made sense. and definitely struck a chord with everyone. It is only when he uses the "winning" formula and mish-mashes the story using a pair of dice. Throw the clichés and his movies will surely click..!!