On such charcoal nights, the ash flickers, his memory slowly fades
away with the drag of smoke. In the night, there is something soothing about
chaos; there is something chaotic about silence.
I wake up at 3 in the afternoon with a heavy
head not knowing if these soliloquies even paused for a sleeping moment. A
headache caused by dreams speeding at a millions thoughts per second. The
headache caused because the thoughts in my head refuse to rest.
Thanks to my career in advertising, my days and
nights are one. Sometimes, the day puts on its yellow cloak; sometimes the
night bares its soul like the full moon.
My BlackBerry beeps reminding me of a queue of
mails slowly piling up. I notice a mail from him. The subject: ‘Last Night was
great.’ An empty message greets me in the email.
Well, Nights are what I am to him then. I wanted
to retort with a million abuses in tow. The man could be an object of my wrath
if I desired it.
Rage aside, I know I have to sort it out. Sooner
or later. “Later,” I decided. Coward, my mind points and laughs at me.
My phone buzzes to Violet Hill who could it be other than the friend
who has known me since I believed in tooth fairies. “I am engaged,” she shrieks
with joy as she announces her engagement to her boyfriend of a year who had
proposed to her last night over wine and food.
The two met at a party, and hit it off
instantly. A week and a date later, they have been together for the last year.
Her happy ending gives me a little hope. Her happy ending will hopefully signal
my new beginning.
Despair, now turns into jealousy.
We choose to meet at 7 in the evening, which
gives me enough time to buy her a gift and practise my best smile in front of
the mirror.
We check-in at Hard Rock Café, take one of the
corner tables and order our Old Monks for the evening.
As expected, the topic drifts to the recent
happenings in my life. I smile and pretend like everything’s alright. A woman
like me, we don’t kiss and tell. Yes, I am traditional that way.
She tells me what it like is to love a guy like
him; I gently withdraw my burnt fingers. Falling in and out of love, both are
just as difficult, I want to quip in defence.
Today, she needn’t hear that; this is her day. A
day that a woman imagines to be her special day right from the time she is
takes a liking for romantic movies.
But today, we speak about love and all the
things that come attached with it.
